Spectra Speaks
Is the Self-Care Movement individualist or revolutionary? African culture prioritizes the welfare of the whole over the individual—perhaps too much so. But on the flipside, the individualism I’ve experienced in the US isn’t much better. Is balance between these two extremes even achievable?
I found this poemthing I wrote about Mother’s Day in my journal from about 2 or 3 years ago. I hadn’t officially had “the talk” with my mother, and though she already knew I was dating women, she seemed determined to avoid talking about it. So, instead, we talked about food, the weather, and Oprah. It was hilarious, and painful. Forward this to someone you know who’s dealing with something similar. And if that someone is you, you are not alone :)
On February 16th, 2012, Africa Women’s Development Fund out-doored NNEKA (one of my favorite Nigerian artists) as their first Ambassador of the Arts. NNEKA was born in Warri, Oil City in the Delta region of Nigeria at the height of its new found wealth in the mid 70s. Her lyrics reflect much of her history and life in Nigeria as well as her time spent in Western Europe. Her songs stress the issues of capitalism, poverty and war and are often loaded with moral and biblical messages and references, with some music commentators comparing her to Erykah Badu, Neneh Cherrynd Floetry. Women’s Rights and African Music = Magic.
As the strapless lilac dress found its awkward place on my body, the delicate layer of my personal confidence dropped mercilessly to the floor.. When my father said I looked “pretty,” I immediately went on a dramatic tirade (more dramatic than usual) to assert that this wasn’t who I was. “You only compliment me when I’m wearing clothes I don’t want to wear,” I complained, “I don’t feel pretty. I feel stupid.”
My brother wrote this guest post for me for Christmas and I couldn’t be any more moved. For any of you feeling hopeless about your families coming around, I want you to read this and see this as your future, see this as where your own family members could go. You will get there. They will get there. We will all find happiness :)
They are afraid, of our voices, of our power, of our resiliency. They are afraid of a younger generation of citizens, activists, and diaspora, and our collective belief in a more progressive Nigeria. They are afraid of our growing influence as we gather allies not just from the west, but from our fellow countrymen. They don’t want to see it happen — our liberation — but they will. They want to maintain the status quo — even to our country’s detriment — but they will not succeed. Stand fast, change is coming.
Today, as I await the news of Nigeria’s latest anti-LGBT bill, I feel like an abandoned child who belongs nowhere — it has nothing to do with not having a place to eat Turkey.
About Me
Meet Spectra: Queer Nigerian Afrofeminist Writer and Media Activist. Social Entrepreneur Nurturing Principled Diaspora and Women's Philanthropy in Media and Tech. Self-Care and Self-Love Evangelist. Idealist Warrior Woman. Big Dreamer. Big Thinker. Big Doer, Too.
Latest Pins on Pinterest
Twitter
Facebook
GooglePlus
Youtube
Rant: Neo-Colonialists Demand to Know Why I Don’t Call Myself “American”
Tweet
Simply put, I don’t want to — I’m Nigerian.
But in case this isn’t enough for you, here’s my angry rebuttal. I’m leaving it angry because, well I’m angry, at constantly having to defend the right to claim my Nigerian cultural identity to xenophobic Americans. Just because many [...]