As the strapless lilac dress found its awkward place on my body, the delicate layer of my personal confidence dropped mercilessly to the floor.. When my father said I looked “pretty,” I immediately went on a dramatic tirade (more dramatic than usual) to assert that this wasn’t who I was. “You only compliment me when I’m wearing clothes I don’t want to wear,” I complained, “I don’t feel pretty. I feel stupid.”
My Straight African Brother’s Reflections on a Very Queer Christmas: “Two Couples and a Sibling”
My brother wrote this guest post for me for Christmas and I couldn’t be any more moved. For any of you feeling hopeless about your families coming around, I want you to read this and see this as your future, see this as where your own family members could go. You will get there. They will get there. We will all find happiness
About Me

Meet Spectra: Nigerian Writer & Media Activist, Queer Afrofeminist Social Commentator, Human Rights Advocate, Social Entrepreneur, Africa's Cheetah Generation, Idealist Warrior Woman.Testimonials
Spectra has allowed myself, and many I know, access safer spaces to have much needed, challenging and powerful conversations that would otherwise not occur in our communities.
— Shakira, The Network/La RedBy sharing your story, you allow people like me to relate, to experience, to learn and to share with others as well. thank you, thank you, thank you.
— JT... a genius when it comes to creating space that feels safe and centering for a variety of marginalized groups (and subgroups) but still warmly invites allies at all levels of previous engagement.
— Jaclyn Friedman, Author of Yes Means YesI can always count on Spectra to challenge an audience, to nudge us in new directions and connect us with new ideas.
— Andrew Elder, The History ProjectSpectra is a talented speaker and facilitator and is especially adept at working with groups of students in ways that both challenge and support individual viewpoints.
We love it when Spectra Speaks!
— The Theater OffensiveSpectra, you are a role model; people who have no one at home find you on the internet and draw hope from your work and your words.
— KE, Facebook Fan... a flexible and effective communicator with youth across various social, class and cultural strata.
— Ayari, Girl Scouts Program Coordinator... [an] articulate weaving of personal experience and analysis.
— BeckyThank you so much for sharing your story and for being an inspiration to so many people.
— WayoftheLiz... a force to be reckoned with--in a very positive way. Spectra has the "gift" of envisioning the greatness we can achieve and uniting the folks who will make that happen. I adore her.
— Tim, Fenway HealthUpcoming Events
- Featured Speaker at Brown University
Date Thu, 23 February 2012 Time 07:00 PM
Location Brown University - Workshop Facilitator at Northeastern University RA Training
Date Tue, 28 February 2012 Time 07:00 PM
Location Northeastern University | Boston MA
- Featured Speaker at Brown University

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